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Being unapologetically y o u is probably one of the healthiest goals anyone can accomplish. It also, for me, has been one of the hardest throughout my journey with Christ. One #gem that I have grown to understand is that being unapologetically
y o u is a bit easier when you know that God is ordering your steps along the way.
It seems like every day I am learning something new about who I am, how I feel, what makes me sad, what/who makes me happy ( besides Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream from Baskin Robbins ), what makes me want to dance like nobody is watching, and what makes me upset.
Often times, I have had to check my spirit from getting caught up with what "The World" wants from/for me and what God already has for me. I have spent a great deal of my time desiring to be a prettier, smarter, harder working, more fit, and better, leader, mentor, daughter and friend. Honestly, being in a World where the seemingly prettiest, smartest, most fit, hardest working, leaders, mentors and friends are your besties, roommates, classmates [ or Instagram friends--lol] it is sometimes hard to fight the spirit of comparison and separate what "The World" wants from what God has ordained.
For a majority of my 24-year long life I felt that I was unworthy of God's blessings. As if God was an elementary school teacher and those who were worthy of God's blessings had to earn an A+ in Christianity 101. A lot of self-reflection forced me to strive to be a better Christian rather than a perfect Christian. Self-reflection also taught me that being a better Christian meant acting, speaking and living with the understanding that I was created in His Image.
Whenever, I feel myself forgetting how worthy I am or how much God truly loves me, I am reminded of these lyrics from a solo that I sang [ wayyyyy back] during my pre-teen years at Tabernacle Missionary Baptist Church in Detroit, Michigan.
"HE MADE ME IN HIS IMAGE. HE MADE ME JUST LIKE HIM. HE TRUSTED, THE WHOLE WORLD IN MY HAND. HE PROMISED, THAT HE WOULD COME & SEE ABOUT ME. HE GAVE ME, A LIL WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE. HE GAVE ME EYES, SO THAT I COULD SEE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW. I'M GLAD. LORD I'M GLAD. I'M GLAD. LORD I'M GLAD. THAT GOD, MADE ME I'M GLAD MAN DIDN'T MAKE SUNSHINE. FOR HE MAY NOT, MAY NOT LET IT SHINE ON ME. BUT, IM GLAD MAN DIDN'T MAKE RAINDROPS FOR HE MAY, FORGET TO WATER THE GRAIN. I'M GLAD MAN DIDN'T CREATE ME, SURELY I KNOW MAN WOULD FORSAKE ME. I WANT YOU TO KNOW. I'M GLAD. LORD I'M GLAD. I'M GLAD. LORD I'M GLAD. THAT GOD MADE ME. I'M GLAD THAT MAN DIDN'T MAKE HEARTACHES. FOR SOMETIMES, HE WOULD GIVE ME MORE THAN I COULD BEAR. OOOOOOOOH! I'M GLAD THAT MAN DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAR DROPS HE WOULD FIND JOY IN THE TEARS I SHED. I'M GLAD MAN DIDN'T CREATE ME FOR I KNOW THAT MAN WOULD SURELY FORSAKE ME. I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I'M GLAD, LORD I'M SO GLAD, I'M GLA--AD, LORD I'M SO GLAD!"
Some other songs that I recommend for those times when we must remind ourselves God saw us at our lowest point; our miserable, wallowing, worst, pitiful and dirty, sorrowful and shamed and He still loved us can be found below [ and I've hyperlinked them to Youtube for your listening pleasure *Kirk Franklin voice*]
1. Order My Steps LIVE by Mighty Clouds of Joy
2. Order My Steps by GMWA Women of Worship
3. Glorious God (feat. Benjamin Moore) by the The Howard Gospel Chair
4. I Will by VaShawn Mitchell
6. Silver & Gold by Kirk Franklin (and the Family)
7. 123 Victory by Kirk Franklin [ for when you need to turn up for Jesus]
OOPS, I did it again--ended with the number of completion, that is.
Remember,
I have love for you, but God’s love is perfect love. You were created in His image!
XOXO
ajd